Episode 6: Red Flag, Green Flag Special

In this episode, we discuss our red flags and green flags. Chloe Bailey mentioned that one of her red flags is her partner being too available. Is there a thing as your partner being too available? Does your partner need to have a car, a place of their own or a job? How important is your partner's relationship with their family? Does your partner forget important dates? Is it a red flag if your partner does not want to get tested before you take it to the next level?

We discuss all of this and so much more in our new episode of “Queens of a Feather” podcast available on YouTube and any major podcast platform. 

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Transcript

Transcript was autogenerated. Therefore some text may be incorrect. 

00:00:01:22 - 00:00:06:18
Speaker 1
*Music*

00:00:08:20 - 00:00:20:23
Speaker 2
Welcome back. Mic check, mic check. 1212. I don't know what day it is. A good day. It's a great day.

00:00:20:27 - 00:00:22:07
Speaker 3
It's great this Sunday.

00:00:22:15 - 00:00:26:13
Speaker 2
I'm glad everybody can be here to tune in with us again. If you're new.

00:00:26:14 - 00:00:28:11
Speaker 4
Well done. Welcome, guys.

00:00:28:11 - 00:00:30:26
Speaker 2
OK, if you've been riding with us. Welcome back.

00:00:30:27 - 00:00:32:03
Speaker 3
Welcome back. All right.

00:00:32:28 - 00:00:38:22
Speaker 2
So we have some, some some interesting things to share with you today.

00:00:38:23 - 00:00:42:05
Speaker 3
Yes, interesting things. Sorry my mind, it keeps going.

00:00:42:20 - 00:00:48:08
Speaker 4
To where to where? See, but on the things you can see, huh?

00:00:48:15 - 00:00:53:16
Speaker 3
Guys, I was like, because when I look back at the videos that my boss or my belly.

00:00:53:20 - 00:00:54:26
Speaker 4
I hope to goodness.

00:00:55:22 - 00:00:59:05
Speaker 3
Know my belly, but it's my butt. I got some hip.

00:00:59:16 - 00:01:00:05
Speaker 2
Gives you wondering.

00:01:00:06 - 00:01:07:28
Speaker 3
So if you can see it, hey, it's are bad. You know it's the overflow belt. So yes.

00:01:08:08 - 00:01:17:01
Speaker 2
Do it to do it does what it does. So folks read. Flags in green and green flag, red and green, red and green.

00:01:17:01 - 00:01:20:07
Speaker 3
That's been a thing that we've been seeing all over social media. Yeah.

00:01:20:16 - 00:01:23:16
Speaker 2
Before, yeah, we already said that we wanted to talk.

00:01:23:16 - 00:01:24:20
Speaker 3
About it before.

00:01:24:20 - 00:01:28:03
Speaker 2
We started seeing it all over social media. I'm like, What is that? That's crazy.

00:01:28:04 - 00:01:28:18
Speaker 3
Crazy.

00:01:28:26 - 00:01:29:22
Speaker 2
That's pretty interesting.

00:01:29:22 - 00:01:30:19
Speaker 3
Pretty interesting.

00:01:30:22 - 00:01:33:27
Speaker 2
But I feel like it was a shade room.

00:01:34:14 - 00:01:39:02
Speaker 3
Yeah, they and then people were putting their comments underneath. Well, you know, with my red flag green flag.

00:01:39:02 - 00:01:39:16
Speaker 2
Shout out to the.

00:01:39:17 - 00:01:45:22
Speaker 4
Shade Room, by the way, I go. So, um yeah, you know.

00:01:46:02 - 00:01:48:27
Speaker 2
I think they just did Red Flag, so I don't think they did both.

00:01:49:08 - 00:01:50:04
Speaker 3
Oh, they do both.

00:01:50:05 - 00:01:58:12
Speaker 2
I don't know. I think they just did red flags when I was just, I don't know. I didn't look at the comment because I didn't want to have their answers in my answers, right?

00:01:58:12 - 00:02:11:09
Speaker 3
You know? Right, right, right. Right. So what we. Well, you know, I've always had pros and cons for what I wanted in a relationship. So I think that this is really good, that we're all being more aware of these things.

00:02:11:10 - 00:02:16:28
Speaker 3
Yes, because it's just it's just good to know what you want and it's good to know what you need to stay away from.

00:02:16:28 - 00:02:18:20
Speaker 2
Yes, what you want and what you don't want.

00:02:18:22 - 00:02:20:03
Speaker 3
Mm-Hmm. Okay. What you want.

00:02:20:03 - 00:02:22:22
Speaker 2
What you really, really want. Oh, hello.

00:02:22:23 - 00:02:24:13
Speaker 3
They were aware of red flags to show you.

00:02:25:16 - 00:02:27:25
Speaker 4
Yes. Yes they were. They were.

00:02:28:05 - 00:02:37:26
Speaker 2
Actually, if you listen to a lot of their albums like they really try to tell you to steer clear of these crazy men. Really, a lot of stay away from the red flags, basically.

00:02:38:06 - 00:02:42:22
Speaker 3
I guess you guys don't want to discriminate, but you all do be crazy. Sometimes girls be crazy, too.

00:02:42:23 - 00:02:51:17
Speaker 2
Yeah, no. Wait, listen, I would really be interested to hear the list after we give ours from a guy's perspective on there. Read it. Oh, that would be good. You know?

00:02:52:09 - 00:03:01:02
Speaker 3
Yeah, maybe maybe another episode. We'll get a guy on here to provide their perspective. Yeah. Any guys, you know, demi links.

00:03:03:04 - 00:03:04:17
Speaker 4
So I said, Well, mine.

00:03:04:29 - 00:03:09:29
Speaker 3
I think. You know what? Yes, sir. Let's do your OK. You kind of talk about.

00:03:10:10 - 00:03:21:06
Speaker 2
Yeah. Yeah, OK, yes. Let's do it. OK. So for my red flags I have, the first one is they don't get along with their parents. Not a good relationship with your parents.

00:03:21:14 - 00:03:26:06
Speaker 3
That's good. That wasn't on my list. That's it. So that's so good that you thought about that.

00:03:26:08 - 00:03:26:14
Speaker 2
Yeah.

00:03:26:24 - 00:03:27:18
Speaker 3
That is important.

00:03:27:19 - 00:03:39:20
Speaker 2
If you think about it, especially, I feel like with the mother of the direct relationship with the son and the mother. Yeah. You know, you sometimes I mean, you know, hey, sometimes life is what it isn't. You, you know, it is what it is.

00:03:39:20 - 00:03:46:10
Speaker 2
But for a male and their mom, I feel like sometimes it'll set the tone, sometimes with how he treats.

00:03:46:19 - 00:03:47:07
Speaker 3
How he treats.

00:03:47:15 - 00:03:49:14
Speaker 2
How he treats you a little bit, you know? That is.

00:03:49:14 - 00:03:49:21
Speaker 3
So.

00:03:49:21 - 00:03:52:05
Speaker 2
True. I always look at how he treats his mother.

00:03:52:12 - 00:03:54:05
Speaker 3
I agree. I agree, because.

00:03:54:05 - 00:03:54:23
Speaker 2
You never know.

00:03:54:27 - 00:04:06:13
Speaker 3
Because that translates. I mean, the mother's supposed to be like your number one woman in your life, right? Unless, of course, there was some type of too much for most people.

00:04:07:07 - 00:04:07:22
Speaker 4
I get it.

00:04:08:07 - 00:04:09:24
Speaker 3
Was a relationship.

00:04:10:13 - 00:04:24:09
Speaker 2
That, yeah, then that's, you know, red flag, right? So that's my first one. My next one is no goals. No, you don't have any goals. That's a red flag for me. Like, you got to know where you want to be that you want to do.

00:04:24:10 - 00:04:25:04
Speaker 2
You got a play.

00:04:25:06 - 00:04:25:16
Speaker 3
At our.

00:04:25:16 - 00:04:27:09
Speaker 2
Age. Yeah, you had to have some goals.

00:04:27:10 - 00:04:27:27
Speaker 3
Yeah, yeah.

00:04:27:27 - 00:04:29:09
Speaker 2
Yeah, that should be never ending.

00:04:29:14 - 00:04:31:08
Speaker 3
If you're a teenager, you know, it's different.

00:04:31:23 - 00:04:33:13
Speaker 2
Even if you were a teen, but have some goals.

00:04:33:22 - 00:04:35:27
Speaker 3
Yeah, but they might not be like firm.

00:04:35:28 - 00:04:37:24
Speaker 2
Yeah, they might. Yeah. But at tells.

00:04:37:27 - 00:04:41:06
Speaker 3
You that you have something that forward that you know, that is true.

00:04:41:06 - 00:05:00:08
Speaker 2
That's one. And then my other one is history of bad relationships. Sometimes it's just bad luck, and you just don't get with anybody who you know. Does anything for you, I guess, but if you have like a long if you've been dating a lot of people and every single person is just if you don't have no, not

00:05:00:08 - 00:05:07:00
Speaker 2
even one nice thing to say about any one that you were ever with. And that's kind of going to be a little bit of a red flag.

00:05:07:01 - 00:05:12:07
Speaker 3
What about if they don't have a history of long term relationships?

00:05:12:11 - 00:05:13:16
Speaker 2
Well, that's a thing.

00:05:13:16 - 00:05:15:07
Speaker 3
Do you think you think that's a red flag?

00:05:15:07 - 00:05:25:28
Speaker 2
Yeah, yeah. Because I want to know why, you know? Mm hmm. Yeah. Can you stick around and try to make things work? Do you just fall off? Do you let it go? Like.

00:05:26:19 - 00:05:27:18
Speaker 3
How loyal are you?

00:05:27:24 - 00:05:30:05
Speaker 2
Yeah. And I guess it also depends on the age. You know.

00:05:30:16 - 00:05:31:03
Speaker 3
It depends on the.

00:05:31:03 - 00:05:32:00
Speaker 2
Age and grown.

00:05:32:00 - 00:05:33:03
Speaker 3
People. We're talking grown and.

00:05:33:04 - 00:05:37:08
Speaker 2
Grown, and you know, I'm going to need for you to have been with somebody for a little while.

00:05:37:08 - 00:05:38:04
Speaker 3
Our grown folks.

00:05:38:04 - 00:05:43:14
Speaker 2
OK, yeah. So that's one of them. Another one is someone who bad their ex.

00:05:43:24 - 00:05:44:27
Speaker 3
That was on my list, too.

00:05:44:27 - 00:05:46:19
Speaker 2
Yeah, I don't. I don't like that.

00:05:46:20 - 00:05:49:02
Speaker 3
Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you could badmouth your ex.

00:05:50:26 - 00:05:52:14
Speaker 4
But try.

00:05:52:14 - 00:05:52:29
Speaker 3
Not to.

00:05:53:25 - 00:05:54:14
Speaker 4
Try not.

00:05:55:20 - 00:05:56:06
Speaker 2
Yeah. Right.

00:05:56:07 - 00:05:57:16
Speaker 3
And depends on how you do it.

00:05:57:27 - 00:06:00:02
Speaker 2
Especially when you try to court somebody. Don't be. I don't.

00:06:00:03 - 00:06:03:01
Speaker 3
Want to. You don't want to hear that. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's.

00:06:03:01 - 00:06:07:22
Speaker 2
one past heavy drug use all red flag.

00:06:08:05 - 00:06:10:14
Speaker 3
That was not on my list, but that is a huge red.

00:06:10:15 - 00:06:11:08
Speaker 4
Flag because that's.

00:06:11:23 - 00:06:17:21
Speaker 2
Like, don't be like, Oh, and I also used to do heroin, like, don't throw that in there all. That's it. That's not that's not a thing.

00:06:17:22 - 00:06:19:00
Speaker 3
I don't like recovering, though.

00:06:19:09 - 00:06:20:10
Speaker 2
You have recovering.

00:06:21:06 - 00:06:35:17
Speaker 4
Yes, you do. My next book is no driver's license. Sorry. How is that not a red flag? Like, you got to be able.

00:06:35:17 - 00:06:38:21
Speaker 2
To get around. You get it. If you can't, then how come.

00:06:39:08 - 00:06:48:07
Speaker 3
That is crazy? She thought about that. I never thought about that. But that is a red flag that you have to drive me places to be the designated driver all the time. I'm not about.

00:06:48:07 - 00:06:48:20
Speaker 2
To come pick.

00:06:48:20 - 00:06:49:00
Speaker 3
You up.

00:06:49:01 - 00:06:52:13
Speaker 2
I wish somebody was a Yeah, I'm ready for my day. You ready to come pick me up? No.

00:06:54:22 - 00:06:55:07
Speaker 4
No.

00:06:57:02 - 00:06:58:27
Speaker 2
No. Yeah, that's a good one, though, right?

00:06:58:28 - 00:06:59:28
Speaker 3
You got another red flag.

00:06:59:29 - 00:07:04:04
Speaker 2
Yes. OK, never lived alone. Oh.

00:07:04:20 - 00:07:07:13
Speaker 3
You have to live. That is a good red flag, too.

00:07:07:14 - 00:07:17:02
Speaker 2
Yeah, you know, it's a thing because when you've been on your own, it's just a different experience that you take away from that. Yeah, I.

00:07:17:02 - 00:07:17:25
Speaker 3
Agree. I agree.

00:07:17:25 - 00:07:26:29
Speaker 2
And you know, one is able to no one would be able to understand that unless they've experienced it. That is true. Very true. It's important to have been on your own, at.

00:07:26:29 - 00:07:36:03
Speaker 3
Least for a what about because, you know, in these times, things are expensive. Yes. What about if they just had roommates? I think at this age of SNL to actually.

00:07:37:03 - 00:07:37:11
Speaker 4
Yeah.

00:07:37:20 - 00:07:41:05
Speaker 3
And that's how we go. You always have to be at my house.

00:07:42:00 - 00:07:43:13
Speaker 4
It's like, you know.

00:07:45:06 - 00:07:50:17
Speaker 2
Except for the roommates, when the other one is multiple baby mamas.

00:07:50:25 - 00:07:55:04
Speaker 3
How many is multiple? How many? Let's let's let's let's make it clear.

00:07:55:06 - 00:07:59:21
Speaker 2
I'm thinking like. three, four and up.

00:08:00:01 - 00:08:03:15
Speaker 3
three, four and up. Yeah, I completely agree.

00:08:03:16 - 00:08:04:14
Speaker 2
That's yeah.

00:08:05:00 - 00:08:18:05
Speaker 3
It's, you know, it's kind of it's it's a that's a harsh line sometimes, but I agree because I want to know why. Yeah, it's a conversation. But did he got multiple?

00:08:18:12 - 00:08:24:06
Speaker 2
He does. He does. But Diddy is.

00:08:24:06 - 00:08:28:11
Speaker 4
Diddy. OK, true.

00:08:28:27 - 00:08:31:26
Speaker 2
You know, even Nick Cannon, though, you know what I mean?

00:08:33:25 - 00:08:35:07
Speaker 3
Nick is so funny to me.

00:08:35:09 - 00:08:36:07
Speaker 2
Nick is hilarious.

00:08:36:08 - 00:08:43:18
Speaker 3
He is hilarious. I really like him. I really do think he just wants to overpopulate the world. And he just loves to share.

00:08:43:25 - 00:08:49:21
Speaker 2
He does. I mean, everyone that he's ever been with speaks very highly, highly of him.

00:08:49:24 - 00:09:04:23
Speaker 3
Seems like a good guy. Yeah. So there's I guess. Deviations from that red flag. You just have to talk to make sure you just talk to who you are trying to get to know a really inquire on why he got so many baby mamas.

00:09:04:23 - 00:09:15:08
Speaker 2
Yeah. And is there drama there? Like, do you guys go long? I mean that, you know, nobody wants to deal with coming into a situation to where you're going to have to be like fighting with other women like, nah, we're not doing that.

00:09:15:08 - 00:09:18:29
Speaker 2
That's a lot. So my next one is, Oh, OK, OK, we got two more.

00:09:19:05 - 00:09:19:27
Speaker 3
OK, I'm ready.

00:09:19:29 - 00:09:20:27
Speaker 2
Bad manners?

00:09:22:08 - 00:09:23:23
Speaker 3
Yeah. Why are you ruining your old?

00:09:24:02 - 00:09:24:08
Speaker 4
Oh.

00:09:25:25 - 00:09:30:04
Speaker 3
You know, like that is something that you should have been taught when you were a kid.

00:09:30:09 - 00:09:35:23
Speaker 2
Yeah. OK, good manners. Good luck. A long way. OK. And it's free, you know?

00:09:37:05 - 00:09:39:04
Speaker 4
You know. Yeah. Yeah.

00:09:39:05 - 00:09:58:14
Speaker 2
Also, my last one is a gang affiliated computer game. OK, get going. No, I'm not rolling. first of all, I'm scared. I'm real scary. So we can't ever be out and like I have to worry about. People running up or stuff like that, that whole lifestyle.

00:09:58:15 - 00:10:05:13
Speaker 2
I don't know anything about it. And I don't want to know anything about it. So we're going to leave that out. I it's a red flag.

00:10:05:14 - 00:10:07:27
Speaker 3
That is a huge rift. I would I don't even think about that. Yeah.

00:10:08:00 - 00:10:13:20
Speaker 2
Girl, you never know. Hmm. OK. Those are my red flag.

00:10:13:21 - 00:10:16:28
Speaker 3
That is a red flag for me too. So don't come around me with that type of stuff.

00:10:18:19 - 00:10:25:14
Speaker 4
Don't don't do that. Talk about what? Say, OK? See you later. All right. I don't want.

00:10:25:14 - 00:10:30:16
Speaker 2
To hear about that type of talk. Is it like a song with like Tupac or something other than that? I'm not rolling?

00:10:30:24 - 00:10:33:01
Speaker 3
Yeah, no. OK. All right. So, Mike?

00:10:33:09 - 00:10:33:24
Speaker 2
Yes.

00:10:33:27 - 00:10:34:15
Speaker 4
Well.

00:10:34:24 - 00:10:36:21
Speaker 3
Good. I don't know. I don't. I feel like.

00:10:37:02 - 00:10:37:29
Speaker 4
Mm hmm.

00:10:38:20 - 00:10:40:29
Speaker 3
Mine is very extensive.

00:10:41:29 - 00:10:43:00
Speaker 4
This girl here.

00:10:43:12 - 00:10:44:25
Speaker 2
She showed me her lips.

00:10:45:06 - 00:10:49:28
Speaker 4
Before we started recording. And the scroll was like, Oh, you should.

00:10:50:05 - 00:10:51:00
Speaker 3
That, you know.

00:10:51:19 - 00:10:54:22
Speaker 2
I really, really am super aware of.

00:10:54:22 - 00:11:08:17
Speaker 3
What I want and what I do not want. And I've had a lot of time to think Dominique already has what she wants, so much so she doesn't have to really think about it that much because he's sitting on the couch at home.

00:11:09:20 - 00:11:11:26
Speaker 4
He is there. OK.

00:11:12:08 - 00:11:15:00
Speaker 3
He's a real person. Mine is not. It's a concept.

00:11:15:03 - 00:11:15:29
Speaker 4
All right. All right.

00:11:16:03 - 00:11:16:27
Speaker 3
The conceptual.

00:11:16:27 - 00:11:19:07
Speaker 2
Person. So it's more detailed. More detail. Hit us with it.

00:11:19:16 - 00:11:25:22
Speaker 3
OK, so first one not asking me questions to get to know me more deeply. Absolutely. I've had that before.

00:11:26:03 - 00:11:27:08
Speaker 2
Where they don't ask you anything.

00:11:27:23 - 00:11:41:05
Speaker 3
This man talked about himself like all day. Oh no. Every day. And he hardly knew anything about me. Yeah, he was cute, though. So I, you know, I listened because I was like, Let me see if it's going to make a turn.

00:11:41:16 - 00:11:50:29
Speaker 3
But it never really made a turn. Yeah. I need you to be interested in me and my story so that you can get to know me. I don't want to just hear you talking about yourself all day, every day.

00:11:51:07 - 00:11:51:18
Speaker 3
Right?

00:11:51:27 - 00:11:57:22
Speaker 2
Just to be back and forth, back and forth. It should be a question for a question, really. Yes. Hello, sugar.

00:11:57:24 - 00:12:04:02
Speaker 3
Exactly. And the question is not like surface questions, right? I mean, I mean, obviously not on the first day, but maybe.

00:12:04:10 - 00:12:05:09
Speaker 4
Yeah, maybe.

00:12:05:09 - 00:12:08:17
Speaker 3
You should be asking deep questions on the first day, because why waste your time, huh?

00:12:08:18 - 00:12:11:23
Speaker 2
Absolutely. I'd get them in. That's true, right then and there.

00:12:12:03 - 00:12:26:16
Speaker 3
That is true. OK. And that tied tied into my other one talking about themselves all the time. I think that man just kind of the person I'm referring to. He just talked about himself way too much, like the date was just all about him that would get old.

00:12:26:17 - 00:12:28:14
Speaker 3
Our conversations all about him don't.

00:12:28:14 - 00:12:29:08
Speaker 2
Get old real fast.

00:12:29:27 - 00:12:31:21
Speaker 4
Yeah, I did. I did.

00:12:32:06 - 00:12:34:03
Speaker 3
Being inconsistent of communication.

00:12:34:15 - 00:12:35:12
Speaker 2
Oh yeah.

00:12:35:29 - 00:12:37:22
Speaker 4
Yes, a huge one for me.

00:12:37:22 - 00:12:39:13
Speaker 2
Yes, that is.

00:12:39:13 - 00:12:46:24
Speaker 3
That is if you don't respond to my text messages in a timely fashion, are my calls. Expect that same energy.

00:12:46:25 - 00:12:48:08
Speaker 2
That's a red flag, for sure.

00:12:48:09 - 00:12:56:05
Speaker 3
Expect that same energy. OK. Like going days without talking to me. Are communicating and they you just reappearing like hot Adobe. No.

00:12:56:05 - 00:12:57:19
Speaker 2
Oh no, you are not. Don't.

00:12:57:19 - 00:12:58:15
Speaker 3
Don't, don't do that.

00:12:58:17 - 00:12:59:13
Speaker 2
Don't don't do that.

00:12:59:22 - 00:13:01:03
Speaker 3
You're not a magician.

00:13:01:04 - 00:13:03:19
Speaker 2
No, you're not. OK. I mean, Houdini.

00:13:05:09 - 00:13:08:05
Speaker 3
Some of them be thinking that they are. But I can see the tricks.

00:13:08:17 - 00:13:14:01
Speaker 4
Oh, I can see them. Who did a Houdini disappear like a genie?

00:13:14:14 - 00:13:16:03
Speaker 3
But hey, was that a song?

00:13:16:22 - 00:13:22:20
Speaker 4
Yeah. By yours, truly. I go, I go. Oh.

00:13:23:03 - 00:13:33:21
Speaker 3
So so yeah, so that's one talking disrespectfully about their access, another without you that you thought about. That's that's a big one for me not wanting to get tested before we have sex.

00:13:33:22 - 00:13:37:11
Speaker 2
Oh yeah. Oh wow.

00:13:37:27 - 00:13:41:29
Speaker 3
If you don't want to get tested and that's not going to make me want to have sex a few more.

00:13:42:07 - 00:13:48:23
Speaker 2
If you don't want to get tested, she don't want to get invested. Oh, and I totally oh, I totally get it.

00:13:50:06 - 00:13:55:08
Speaker 4
one. If you don't want to get tested.

00:13:55:29 - 00:13:57:15
Speaker 3
That means you're not investing in.

00:13:57:18 - 00:14:01:17
Speaker 4
What you just said. You don't want to get him as if you don't. You don't want to get it. You don't want to get invested.

00:14:01:23 - 00:14:04:22
Speaker 2
And I guess it makes sense. Yeah, that's a good one.

00:14:04:22 - 00:14:05:18
Speaker 3
You just think about.

00:14:05:23 - 00:14:06:24
Speaker 2
That just right now, Rob.

00:14:08:07 - 00:14:09:14
Speaker 3
Girl, her brain will not.

00:14:09:14 - 00:14:11:11
Speaker 2
Girl menta, yeah, her.

00:14:11:11 - 00:14:14:14
Speaker 3
Brain is just working like a little, I can like see.

00:14:14:14 - 00:14:16:05
Speaker 2
It today, but maybe not tomorrow.

00:14:16:07 - 00:14:18:11
Speaker 3
Oh, it's really working. That isn't.

00:14:18:13 - 00:14:20:08
Speaker 4
Nice. I love that.

00:14:20:18 - 00:14:22:18
Speaker 3
I wanted to drop the mike on that one.

00:14:23:10 - 00:14:28:13
Speaker 4
That was good. Absolutely. I can give you the other way.

00:14:28:19 - 00:14:29:12
Speaker 3
White lace.

00:14:30:04 - 00:14:31:00
Speaker 2
Oh yeah.

00:14:31:04 - 00:14:40:23
Speaker 3
Little, little bunch of lies. Yeah, and there's some lies that people tell that I noticed, but I don't I don't see anything really. Yeah, I tally it in my mind.

00:14:41:17 - 00:14:43:21
Speaker 2
We'll see if you're paying attention like you said, you'll catch.

00:14:43:28 - 00:14:46:22
Speaker 3
Yeah, because I'm like, on Friday, you said this.

00:14:46:25 - 00:14:48:10
Speaker 4
Oh.

00:14:49:07 - 00:14:50:22
Speaker 3
two months ago you said this.

00:14:50:23 - 00:14:51:23
Speaker 4
Yeah, yeah.

00:14:52:02 - 00:14:55:07
Speaker 3
And then now you said, this doesn't make sense. three strikes, you're out.

00:14:55:16 - 00:14:59:22
Speaker 4
Absolutely. Look, you got three. I mean, OK.

00:15:00:03 - 00:15:02:10
Speaker 3
Yes. Long gaps in unemployment.

00:15:03:02 - 00:15:08:24
Speaker 2
Oh. I wanted to work on employment, yeah, OK, yeah.

00:15:09:00 - 00:15:21:10
Speaker 3
Unless you had, I mean, maybe you had a car accident. God forbid, all those things, those things, you know, we could have a conversation about that. It's not like, I'm just going to be like, X, you're done with just hearing that you haven't been working for a long time.

00:15:21:19 - 00:15:25:15
Speaker 3
But if is you just sitting on the couch, you playing Xbox.

00:15:26:17 - 00:15:27:15
Speaker 2
Eating bonbons.

00:15:28:01 - 00:15:28:11
Speaker 4
And.

00:15:28:21 - 00:15:30:14
Speaker 2
No Cheetos and that's you.

00:15:30:14 - 00:15:33:03
Speaker 3
Work with someone who's maybe a teenager doesn't work.

00:15:33:18 - 00:15:34:14
Speaker 4
Get a grown.

00:15:34:14 - 00:15:36:28
Speaker 3
Woman. Starbursts like me.

00:15:37:04 - 00:15:38:11
Speaker 4
Don't do that. Do it.

00:15:38:26 - 00:15:46:29
Speaker 2
It's all kind of snack. Yeah. You just know me getting it in like that. Don't do that. You should be able to bounce back and want to be ready to make that money.

00:15:47:01 - 00:15:48:17
Speaker 3
Ties in with what you said with goals.

00:15:48:22 - 00:15:51:25
Speaker 2
Yeah. You don't have them. It shows it'll show.

00:15:51:26 - 00:15:58:11
Speaker 3
It will show and we'll see them. And I will question you. So what happened in between 2015.

00:15:58:27 - 00:15:59:08
Speaker 2
To.

00:15:59:24 - 00:16:02:08
Speaker 3
2020? That was five years of not working.

00:16:02:09 - 00:16:04:11
Speaker 2
Oh, that's a long time. What took place?

00:16:06:18 - 00:16:07:04
Speaker 4
What happened?

00:16:07:04 - 00:16:08:20
Speaker 2
Where were you? All right.

00:16:09:05 - 00:16:13:28
Speaker 3
All right. Aggression with others as that will eventually translate to aggression with me.

00:16:14:15 - 00:16:18:06
Speaker 4
00.

00:16:18:10 - 00:16:18:19
Speaker 2
Yeah.

00:16:18:20 - 00:16:26:06
Speaker 3
Yeah, if you if you're out, you know, sometimes you're out with someone and maybe they're just a little bit too aggressive with the waiter or.

00:16:26:07 - 00:16:26:23
Speaker 2
Yes.

00:16:26:27 - 00:16:32:27
Speaker 3
Yes, someone may have looked at you a little way and they got a little bit too aggressive. Yeah. Notice those things.

00:16:33:10 - 00:16:34:21
Speaker 2
Oh my goodness.

00:16:34:27 - 00:16:40:23
Speaker 3
Those are all like little nuggets that God is leaving for you to run away.

00:16:41:03 - 00:16:55:06
Speaker 2
You know what? That's why that's good to like. Go out to eat with someone, because then you can see how they treat other people, the waiters that anyone like the ballet, all the people you can see if they treat anybody differently or they're nicer or they're you know what I mean?

00:16:55:06 - 00:16:57:06
Speaker 3
Don't think they're going to treat you any differently.

00:16:57:06 - 00:17:01:29
Speaker 2
Because they like you down the line. They're eventually going to treat you the way they see fit, really?

00:17:01:29 - 00:17:09:25
Speaker 3
Exactly. Once they get comfortable, they'll they'll treat you that way, too. Oh, so I don't think it's just an isolated event. So people that they don't know.

00:17:10:02 - 00:17:10:27
Speaker 2
Yeah, yeah.

00:17:11:00 - 00:17:11:29
Speaker 3
Well, take place if you do.

00:17:12:11 - 00:17:18:12
Speaker 2
If you say, Yo, I want lemon in my water and they don't come back and bring your lemon, and then he freaks out because I.

00:17:18:12 - 00:17:22:15
Speaker 4
Was learning about water in you. You leave, leave.

00:17:22:20 - 00:17:28:05
Speaker 3
OK, say, OK, I had a good time, but something came up.

00:17:28:19 - 00:17:28:26
Speaker 4
As.

00:17:28:26 - 00:17:33:18
Speaker 3
Dominique was. I got to feed my daughter last measure up.

00:17:34:05 - 00:17:34:24
Speaker 4
Yeah, it's the.

00:17:34:24 - 00:17:35:09
Speaker 2
Thing and.

00:17:35:10 - 00:17:35:20
Speaker 4
I do.

00:17:36:12 - 00:17:36:28
Speaker 2
Don't judge me.

00:17:36:28 - 00:17:41:23
Speaker 3
Judge yourself. Exactly. Thank you. OK, OK. Cancel in dates consistently.

00:17:42:20 - 00:17:43:12
Speaker 2
Yeah. No, no, no.

00:17:43:12 - 00:17:43:23
Speaker 4
No, no.

00:17:44:15 - 00:17:45:13
Speaker 3
My. Why you cancel? You don't.

00:17:45:13 - 00:17:51:12
Speaker 2
Wanna see? Yeah, that's what that means if you do that. No. If you keep if you keep doing that, that's what that means.

00:17:51:18 - 00:17:52:13
Speaker 3
That's what it means.

00:17:53:04 - 00:17:53:29
Speaker 2
Yeah. Let that go.

00:17:54:05 - 00:18:13:20
Speaker 3
So when you're going through your own issues, doesn't attempt to assist with helping you resolve them. Yeah. I don't. I mean, sometimes you just want to vent to people, but I feel like for a man, I want to see like, OK, well, what about if you do this or what about if you can do that?

00:18:13:20 - 00:18:17:23
Speaker 3
Or can I come over and help you with this or I need to see you trying to help me?

00:18:18:05 - 00:18:19:19
Speaker 2
Yes, absolutely.

00:18:19:19 - 00:18:31:06
Speaker 3
What's the point of having you have my in my life? Yeah. If you're not going to help me release some of what I'm going through? Yeah, and I'm not talking about financially, I just want to see that you troubleshoot with me.

00:18:31:07 - 00:18:36:08
Speaker 2
Absolutely. Yeah. You can't want to be on the team and not be a team player. I know.

00:18:36:22 - 00:18:37:21
Speaker 3
Yeah, you can't.

00:18:37:22 - 00:18:40:23
Speaker 2
That doesn't work out, doesn't it? Well, the one great.

00:18:40:23 - 00:18:48:07
Speaker 3
one. OK. Inability to communicate upsets timely and lets things fester.

00:18:48:17 - 00:18:51:12
Speaker 2
Oh yeah. Yeah, you got to speak up.

00:18:51:16 - 00:18:56:04
Speaker 3
Don't be telling me stuff that happened a year ago. You should have told me that.

00:18:56:13 - 00:18:57:06
Speaker 2
When it happened.

00:18:57:06 - 00:18:57:27
Speaker 3
When it happened.

00:18:57:27 - 00:18:58:20
Speaker 4
Absolutely.

00:18:58:20 - 00:18:59:00
Speaker 3
Yeah.

00:18:59:06 - 00:19:10:07
Speaker 2
No good comes when you hold it in like that. And you know what? Sometimes I feel like people think if they have a problem, it's going to just make it a bigger problem. But it's all about your delivery.

00:19:11:00 - 00:19:25:16
Speaker 2
It's all about your delivery. You can say whatever you want to say to somebody if you don't like them, but it's about how you say it. You know what I mean? I agree. Just get your if you have an issue with something, you tell it to me in a respectful manner, and I promise you, I will work

00:19:25:16 - 00:19:26:18
Speaker 2
with you to figure that out.

00:19:26:19 - 00:19:40:26
Speaker 3
Yeah. And I think it's all about trust as well. You have to build that trust with each other so that you know that what that person is bringing to you, that they're bringing it to you out of love and not out of just trying to, like maybe put you down or just to complain?

00:19:41:01 - 00:19:53:23
Speaker 3
You know, absolutely. So that's definitely something that I want. Yeah. So that's a red flag. If you cannot do that, if you cannot communicate with me, if you can't tell me, like, hey, you know, I'm upset because of X, Y and Z.

00:19:53:24 - 00:20:06:29
Speaker 3
Yeah, you know, I that's something that I am working on because it takes me. I think sometimes a moment I have to maybe a couple of days before I can kind of pluck up sometimes even the courage to say, OK, here's why I'm upset.

00:20:07:25 - 00:20:20:01
Speaker 3
This is what happened. OK. Here's how it made me feel and how I am. I don't be cursing and shouting. I don't do that. Yeah. I'm going to tell you what I have to tell you in a very cool, calm and collected absolute way.

00:20:20:01 - 00:20:22:12
Speaker 3
And I want I want that in return.

00:20:22:13 - 00:20:31:12
Speaker 2
Absolutely. That is fantastic. three healthy, healthy, very healthy way to go about healthy relationships in all areas.

00:20:31:21 - 00:20:33:21
Speaker 4
Yes. Yes.

00:20:35:26 - 00:20:40:29
Speaker 2
OK. Yes. Belittling. Oh yes. Right. Right. Oh, my.

00:20:40:29 - 00:20:42:05
Speaker 3
Goodness. Don't belittle.

00:20:42:05 - 00:20:46:28
Speaker 2
Me. These are great. Thank you. These are great. Don't be loud. Don't be little. Mean. Don't do.

00:20:46:28 - 00:20:54:28
Speaker 3
That. Don't do that. OK, very fast start ups, meaning too much too soon when I just met you. To me, that's a sign of love. Mommy, don't love me.

00:20:54:29 - 00:20:58:13
Speaker 2
Yeah, we talked about that. Don't do that. Not a great.

00:20:58:13 - 00:20:59:14
Speaker 3
one, though. Yeah. Right?

00:21:00:21 - 00:21:01:16
Speaker 2
I don't like that either.

00:21:01:17 - 00:21:18:19
Speaker 3
Yeah, but it makes you feel good, but then you have to check yourself like, why is this person giving me so much too soon? And they really do not know me? Yeah, I feels good to be loved on and to be treated good, but you really have to take a step back sometimes, and.

00:21:18:19 - 00:21:20:29
Speaker 2
That's when you ask, Hey, how's the relationship with your.

00:21:20:29 - 00:21:22:03
Speaker 4
Mom?

00:21:23:14 - 00:21:27:27
Speaker 2
Because I'm telling you sometimes faster right from that tree?

00:21:27:28 - 00:21:32:21
Speaker 3
And how is the relationship with other people? Why did you break up with your ex? Ah, why did they break up with you?

00:21:32:21 - 00:21:36:07
Speaker 2
That's one of the ice to ask that question. Like that was like one of my questions.

00:21:36:08 - 00:21:37:04
Speaker 3
That's a good question.

00:21:37:05 - 00:21:37:16
Speaker 2
Why?

00:21:37:19 - 00:21:41:26
Speaker 3
Why I don't want to surface response. Yeah, I want a detailed response.

00:21:41:27 - 00:21:42:15
Speaker 2
Absolutely.

00:21:42:19 - 00:21:46:07
Speaker 3
Walk me through it. Yeah, OK. How did it happen?

00:21:47:09 - 00:21:49:21
Speaker 2
Where did it happen? How did it happen? What time was that?

00:21:49:21 - 00:21:50:06
Speaker 4
Are you?

00:21:52:12 - 00:21:57:14
Speaker 3
Yup, all that. OK. Forgets important dates are things that are important to me.

00:21:58:12 - 00:22:14:00
Speaker 2
Yes. Mm-Hmm. Oh, I see, OK. I am horrible with dates, OK? I'm so bad with dates. OK, but I promise you, though, once I get wind of something, if I forget something, I am on it like white. On rice.

00:22:14:06 - 00:22:16:02
Speaker 3
You got you got a phone. You could put it in your calendar.

00:22:16:03 - 00:22:30:01
Speaker 2
I'm going to I'm starting to start to do stuff like that because it's like, there's no excuse, you know, today to to be forgetting people's special days for anything. You know, you have so much access to stuff like that and things remind you, you know?

00:22:30:13 - 00:22:32:06
Speaker 2
But oh my goodness, I'm celebrity.

00:22:32:15 - 00:22:33:05
Speaker 3
I feel you are.

00:22:33:05 - 00:22:34:09
Speaker 2
That I need to get better at that.

00:22:34:14 - 00:22:39:16
Speaker 3
And again, if you are like Dominique, where your bad dates, communicate that with your partner.

00:22:39:21 - 00:22:40:11
Speaker 2
Yeah.

00:22:40:16 - 00:22:50:00
Speaker 3
So that they're like, You know what? OK? They've already told me that they're not great with dates, so some of somethings might slip. Mm hmm. And it's not something that they did out of malice.

00:22:50:01 - 00:22:50:17
Speaker 2
Right?

00:22:50:20 - 00:22:53:09
Speaker 3
But just something that they're working on.

00:22:53:10 - 00:22:55:22
Speaker 2
Yes. As long as you're working on it, we good.

00:22:55:22 - 00:22:57:06
Speaker 3
Yeah. You know, talk to me.

00:22:57:06 - 00:22:57:15
Speaker 4
Yeah.

00:22:58:02 - 00:23:00:05
Speaker 3
Don't have me waiting on my birthday.

00:23:00:08 - 00:23:01:14
Speaker 2
Oh, my goodness.

00:23:01:16 - 00:23:02:17
Speaker 3
And you didn't do anything.

00:23:03:05 - 00:23:05:03
Speaker 2
Say, not a word. Nothing.

00:23:05:19 - 00:23:08:12
Speaker 3
I actually stopped talking to a couple of people because of.

00:23:08:12 - 00:23:10:15
Speaker 2
That because they didn't say, Happy birthday.

00:23:10:19 - 00:23:11:28
Speaker 3
Yeah, that's important for me.

00:23:12:08 - 00:23:14:24
Speaker 2
That is, though I know.

00:23:15:11 - 00:23:25:07
Speaker 3
You're trying to get to know me. Absolutely. I've had a guy say, OK, when's your birthday? And I think my birthday was maybe coming up in a week. So I told him when my birthday was. And he's like, OK.

00:23:25:07 - 00:23:36:21
Speaker 3
And he asked me, you know, a couple of times, like, Okay, what are you going to do on your birthday? Yeah, my birthday came and I'm not expecting a gift because we weren't on that level yet, right? We were just getting to know each other, OK?

00:23:37:00 - 00:23:41:16
Speaker 3
And he didn't. He didn't call or text me. And the next day he did.

00:23:43:14 - 00:23:48:00
Speaker 2
And said, what? Hi, how are you doing? Oh, no. What did you say?

00:23:48:11 - 00:24:01:03
Speaker 3
I didn't respond, and then he texted me the next day. And he said, I want to make sure you're OK. You know, I haven't heard from you. Normally you text you back and I said, I don't want to ghost you, but I was going to ghost you.

00:24:01:17 - 00:24:01:27
Speaker 4
Yeah.

00:24:02:19 - 00:24:12:16
Speaker 3
But since you followed up, you asked me when my birthday was, I informed you my birthday was and you didn't shoot me a text. Nothing or anything for my birthday.

00:24:12:17 - 00:24:20:04
Speaker 2
You could have at least just said, Happy birthday. That's like, what? So you? What did he say? I wonder what he thought was going to happen?

00:24:20:05 - 00:24:31:09
Speaker 3
No. I don't know. But I was I was straight up and I said, you know, that was a little bit disappointing, especially because it wasn't like we were talking months ago on my birthday was six months. It was literally like the week after that.

00:24:31:09 - 00:24:44:10
Speaker 3
He asked me, Do not ask me a question if you're really not invested in the answer? Yeah, yeah. When I'm talking to someone and someone says, Hey, this is my birthday, I'm really interested in you. I actually put your birthday in my contacts, do you?

00:24:44:13 - 00:24:45:18
Speaker 2
I do. That's smart.

00:24:45:29 - 00:24:47:23
Speaker 3
I do. So it pops up in my calendar.

00:24:47:24 - 00:24:49:17
Speaker 2
I like that smart.

00:24:49:27 - 00:24:55:13
Speaker 3
So and then he actually apologized. He texted and he apologized. But I never texted him back after that.

00:24:55:18 - 00:24:59:08
Speaker 2
Yeah, see you lose the girl. That's back.

00:24:59:09 - 00:25:11:27
Speaker 3
Yeah. I mean, granted, it was other things that I really wasn't interested in also. But that was a big one for me because I, when I'm dating, I want you to be intentional with your actions. I want you.

00:25:12:21 - 00:25:13:03
Speaker 4
Yes.

00:25:14:13 - 00:25:22:20
Speaker 3
Yes, intentional. I need you to be intentional with what you're doing. Don't be just asking yourself just to be like, Oh, I'm just going to ask for her birthday and I'm not going to remember.

00:25:22:21 - 00:25:28:25
Speaker 2
Yeah, yeah. What? Yeah, no. Don't do that. And if you don't remember, then you know, can you know?

00:25:29:00 - 00:25:30:02
Speaker 3
But just text me the next day?

00:25:30:12 - 00:25:33:14
Speaker 2
No. No, he knew. He remembered. He remembered.

00:25:33:15 - 00:25:36:13
Speaker 3
Yeah, he just didn't think I was going to call him out or forget him.

00:25:36:20 - 00:25:38:29
Speaker 2
I don't know why he thought that the wrong. Yeah.

00:25:39:16 - 00:25:47:28
Speaker 3
OK, let me see. I don't think I have that many more. Let me see. Let me see. Okay? Too many texts and calls and gets upset if I don't respond right away.

00:25:49:08 - 00:25:49:27
Speaker 2
Wow.

00:25:50:12 - 00:26:07:16
Speaker 3
There's a lane. Obviously, I don't if someone texts me, right? Yeah, I'm going to try to respond, at least by that within that same day. OK, but I'm I'm busy, I got to work. Yeah, so sometimes I can't respond to you that seem in that same hour, right?

00:26:07:17 - 00:26:18:23
Speaker 3
Ah, within maybe two hours, sometimes I can't respond. But if you're mad that I'm not responding to you, like in 15 minutes, ten minutes, I'm not calling you back. You know, right away. And that's kind of weird for me.

00:26:18:23 - 00:26:21:09
Speaker 3
Like, What are you doing? Do you have something else to do in your life? Yeah.

00:26:21:19 - 00:26:23:13
Speaker 2
Absolutely. You need to get a hobby.

00:26:23:14 - 00:26:26:16
Speaker 3
Yeah. Well, you know, Chloe, remember Chloe Bailey?

00:26:26:20 - 00:26:28:13
Speaker 2
Yes. Oh yeah.

00:26:28:13 - 00:26:37:04
Speaker 3
She said that thing. She had an interview with Angie Martinez. Uh-Huh. And she said that she doesn't want a man to be too available.

00:26:37:23 - 00:26:42:04
Speaker 2
That's a turnoff for her. Yeah. You know what? I feel like she just wanted someone to run.

00:26:42:05 - 00:26:43:02
Speaker 3
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, she's.

00:26:43:02 - 00:26:51:25
Speaker 2
A young woman. Yeah. And she worded it a little bit, I think, just just a little bit off because. But I get what she meant, though.

00:26:52:02 - 00:26:55:20
Speaker 3
I get what she meant. But it still gave me young girl vibes.

00:26:55:21 - 00:26:56:01
Speaker 2
Yeah.

00:26:56:19 - 00:27:11:09
Speaker 3
I need my man to be available to me. Absolutely. If you're not available to me, who else are you available to? I don't need you to drop. I know I understand that we have things that are going on.

00:27:11:18 - 00:27:25:15
Speaker 3
You're not going to respond. The exact minute I text you, I call you right. But within the day you need to. I totally agree. Yeah, I totally agree with that, but I understood what she was trying to trying to say.

00:27:25:25 - 00:27:35:05
Speaker 2
Yeah, but you know, I was reading even in the comments, I forgot who posted that interview. I think a few platforms posted. They did. Yeah, people were in the comments were like, Be careful what you ask for a girl.

00:27:35:09 - 00:27:44:00
Speaker 2
I know you ain't going to be able to get a hold of yo man. Yeah, that's frustrating. It is, you know, I mean, it's frustrating in the sense to where, like, what if it's something important? I don't know.

00:27:44:16 - 00:27:52:17
Speaker 2
Be available if I show you a text or something like that and you see that is something that I really need or want. Like he available for that, don't you know, I agree around.

00:27:52:28 - 00:28:02:07
Speaker 3
I want I want you to be a support system for me because I'm a super dope support system. So whomever I am with, I expect that in return. Yeah, so.

00:28:02:20 - 00:28:03:26
Speaker 4
Stamped. OK.

00:28:05:01 - 00:28:09:09
Speaker 3
Doesn't respect boundaries and doesn't accept my no are my yes as a response.

00:28:10:10 - 00:28:20:06
Speaker 2
Yeah, that can get dangerous. You definitely have to pay attention to a man who does not listen to your response to whatever.

00:28:20:06 - 00:28:20:25
Speaker 3
He's whatever.

00:28:21:19 - 00:28:25:24
Speaker 2
You say. No. If you say maybe, then that's exactly what it is.

00:28:25:25 - 00:28:37:06
Speaker 3
Yeah, I'm my own person. I make my own decisions were grown. And you do the same. You know, there are some things that we may have to to. There's some wiggle room that we you might be able to change my response.

00:28:37:17 - 00:28:38:21
Speaker 3
But don't let that be a habit.

00:28:39:05 - 00:28:44:14
Speaker 2
Yeah. Yeah. Don't let that be a habit of ignoring.

00:28:44:17 - 00:28:45:07
Speaker 3
Don't ignore me.

00:28:45:21 - 00:28:56:17
Speaker 2
Yeah. Don't ignore me. How dare you? Already, I'm such a drama queen. I'm like, Oh, don't ignore me. Don't ignore me. Don't do that.

00:28:56:18 - 00:28:57:02
Speaker 4
No.

00:28:57:15 - 00:28:59:26
Speaker 2
That is cold hearted, boy.

00:29:01:20 - 00:29:03:18
Speaker 4
I'm like, I'm going to ignore all of this. I know.

00:29:03:28 - 00:29:04:19
Speaker 2
You know.

00:29:04:19 - 00:29:06:07
Speaker 3
And I've been ignored before.

00:29:07:07 - 00:29:13:00
Speaker 2
It's I feel good. It really does it. And, you know, I think since we're so like naturally happy people.

00:29:13:04 - 00:29:14:21
Speaker 3
Yeah, it observes me down.

00:29:14:22 - 00:29:16:27
Speaker 2
It brings me all the way down, you know.

00:29:16:29 - 00:29:27:14
Speaker 3
Like it totally like makes me feel sad when someone ignores me. And then just possibly high like. Do you know I was thinking about you the entire time?

00:29:27:15 - 00:29:27:28
Speaker 2
Yeah.

00:29:28:11 - 00:29:33:03
Speaker 3
You ignored me and you just going to pop up and not even apologize for ignoring me. Don't do that.

00:29:33:05 - 00:29:46:07
Speaker 2
You have to. Yeah. Don't ignore, folks. I feel like that's a child thing to do like it is. Don't do that when you're grown, you say whatever it is that you feel you need to save you going to be walking around like who?

00:29:46:20 - 00:29:48:11
Speaker 2
Then said.

00:29:48:12 - 00:30:00:09
Speaker 3
Don't ignore me. Just let's talk about let's be an adult. Both of us are adults, have a conversation, and let's talk about it. You might be uncomfortable, but I promise you it will get better once the comfort disappears.

00:30:00:10 - 00:30:05:12
Speaker 2
Yeah, the sooner we make up, the sooner we can go. Get some neat together.

00:30:05:18 - 00:30:08:17
Speaker 3
And enjoy it. He didn't come to that income.

00:30:09:10 - 00:30:12:02
Speaker 2
Oh, I thought it did. It sounds good to me.

00:30:13:02 - 00:30:14:13
Speaker 4
Sorry. Hit me with some more.

00:30:15:11 - 00:30:17:08
Speaker 3
My mind is so perverted.

00:30:20:26 - 00:30:23:17
Speaker 4
Oh nah.

00:30:23:18 - 00:30:24:14
Speaker 2
Nah. See, I know.

00:30:24:14 - 00:30:28:02
Speaker 4
Where she was. Go ahead.

00:30:28:15 - 00:30:30:18
Speaker 2
You don't take the five minutes walk.

00:30:31:22 - 00:30:33:15
Speaker 3
Yes, we can. We can.

00:30:33:15 - 00:30:36:06
Speaker 4
Eat you.

00:30:36:26 - 00:30:37:14
Speaker 3
All right. You can.

00:30:38:21 - 00:30:38:26
Speaker 4
Go.

00:30:39:16 - 00:30:49:05
Speaker 3
Doesn't take accountability for their actions. Yes. Take accountability for what you do. If it was something that you did say, it's my bad and I apologize.

00:30:49:26 - 00:30:52:18
Speaker 2
Yeah, and be done with it. That's it. That's what adults do.

00:30:52:18 - 00:31:02:15
Speaker 3
You're supposed to I forgive super easily. I just need to see, yeah, accountability. Yeah, yeah. And my last one is preferred. Communication is text. That's a red flag for me.

00:31:02:26 - 00:31:03:13
Speaker 2
Really?

00:31:03:24 - 00:31:11:03
Speaker 4
Oh yes. Hey. No, that's our preferred communication. What? What, what?

00:31:12:14 - 00:31:25:01
Speaker 3
That's a red flag for me. When you're trying to get to know someone I think is different because we already have an established true bond. When, when, when you're trying to get to know someone and they just trying to text you, it doesn't work for me, doesn't make me feel tingly inside.

00:31:25:07 - 00:31:26:16
Speaker 3
It does nothing for me.

00:31:26:20 - 00:31:30:23
Speaker 2
But when you're dating, I feel like you should want to hear that person's voice.

00:31:30:23 - 00:31:31:16
Speaker 3
To hear your voice.

00:31:32:02 - 00:31:36:27
Speaker 2
And that's different. You know what I mean? Like that type of an attraction you want to, you know?

00:31:36:27 - 00:31:48:13
Speaker 3
Yeah, you want to hear, I need to hear them. And then also like, you know, it's different also for you because you're married, you're living with that person. So you text probably throughout the day, right? So when you see them in person, that's, you know, you're seeing them right.

00:31:48:14 - 00:31:56:00
Speaker 3
But if they're in for me, your preferred communication is text. It doesn't work for me at all. I need to hear your voice.

00:31:56:04 - 00:31:57:00
Speaker 2
Absolutely.

00:31:57:00 - 00:31:58:11
Speaker 3
Yeah. So those are my.

00:31:59:20 - 00:32:02:15
Speaker 4
Things like, Hey, what would you do if you if you were.

00:32:02:15 - 00:32:10:13
Speaker 2
Dating a guy, right? You guys are texting and stuff at first, right? Yeah, you didn't know how you sound on the phone. And then and then when when he answered the phone and he was.

00:32:10:13 - 00:32:10:24
Speaker 4
Like, How.

00:32:11:05 - 00:32:14:15
Speaker 3
That happened? That has happened to me.

00:32:14:20 - 00:32:17:18
Speaker 4
What did you do? What did you do?

00:32:18:11 - 00:32:19:16
Speaker 3
I think that was a.

00:32:19:16 - 00:32:21:03
Speaker 4
Ghosted situation, which.

00:32:21:03 - 00:32:21:28
Speaker 3
I'm not proud of.

00:32:22:13 - 00:32:25:09
Speaker 4
Oh, no, he said. Oh, well.

00:32:26:05 - 00:32:38:28
Speaker 3
We we were texting and the flow was cool. And I, you know, I look up people also on social media before. Yes, I usually talk to them. Yeah, I look them up and I was like, Oh yeah, he seems pretty dope.

00:32:38:28 - 00:32:47:06
Speaker 3
And he he is. But then when I heard that voice actually happened to me twice with people, when I heard his voice, I just didn't feel it OK.

00:32:48:08 - 00:32:52:06
Speaker 2
It wasn't. It wasn't working out. I didn't believe you can't sound like Mickey Mouse.

00:32:55:01 - 00:32:55:26
Speaker 4
I didn't feel it.

00:32:56:02 - 00:32:59:02
Speaker 2
So yeah, that'll that.

00:32:59:02 - 00:33:08:24
Speaker 3
That, yeah, it happened. Happened twice. OK. OK. And I think he actually is funny because I got on another dating app. Mm hmm. Like months after that, we spoke.

00:33:09:07 - 00:33:09:27
Speaker 4
And he.

00:33:10:08 - 00:33:13:15
Speaker 3
He he liked me again on that other dating app. What?

00:33:13:25 - 00:33:16:06
Speaker 2
Yeah, he did. Oh, he was trying to get your attention.

00:33:16:11 - 00:33:30:18
Speaker 3
I know he was nice. It just sometimes. And that's maybe a shallow thing. I'm sorry, but there's just some things that I don't. And then it worked for me. Yeah, the chemistry wasn't there. Yes. Yes. So yeah.

00:33:30:27 - 00:33:31:11
Speaker 2
Yes.

00:33:31:16 - 00:33:33:14
Speaker 3
So we can go into our.

00:33:33:15 - 00:33:35:19
Speaker 2
Greens green or greenies.

00:33:36:08 - 00:33:37:22
Speaker 3
But I'm thinking if we should just swap.

00:33:38:21 - 00:33:39:18
Speaker 2
Yeah, we could swap.

00:33:39:19 - 00:33:45:01
Speaker 3
You say one, I say one swap due to, wow. All right, have a little bit more of those aside. OK.

00:33:45:03 - 00:33:47:12
Speaker 2
Of course you do. I already saw you scroll in.

00:33:49:02 - 00:33:54:04
Speaker 3
So and then if it's something that I already have, then I'll just, you know, say already, yes, yes.

00:33:54:05 - 00:34:03:03
Speaker 2
All right. Shall I go first? Yeah. Yeah. OK. one of my greens is has a job they enjoy. Oh, I like that. Yeah.

00:34:03:04 - 00:34:05:06
Speaker 3
Has a job that they enjoy.

00:34:05:07 - 00:34:07:25
Speaker 2
You know, it makes for a really happy person.

00:34:07:29 - 00:34:10:04
Speaker 3
But if they have a joy that they do not enjoy.

00:34:10:15 - 00:34:11:02
Speaker 2
That's fine.

00:34:11:02 - 00:34:14:03
Speaker 3
The way that's probably what an orange flag or yellow, whatever.

00:34:14:03 - 00:34:26:02
Speaker 2
Yeah, I mean, sometimes a lot of the times you're going to have to do the job that you have to do, and so you get the job that you want. Very true. And there's nothing wrong with climbing. So but I'm just saying it's a green flag when you're there and you like what you're doing.

00:34:26:12 - 00:34:27:24
Speaker 2
You know, I like that a lot.

00:34:27:25 - 00:34:37:10
Speaker 3
I have financial stability and career, but I didn't put has the joy of job that they enjoy. But I really like that. Yeah, yeah, I like that.

00:34:37:12 - 00:34:38:14
Speaker 2
It's refreshing.

00:34:38:16 - 00:34:38:28
Speaker 4
Mm hmm.

00:34:39:05 - 00:34:41:24
Speaker 2
I think, yeah, I'm going to hit me with one of yours.

00:34:42:05 - 00:34:46:03
Speaker 3
Yeah. Consistent with communication, guys, communication is huge for me.

00:34:46:03 - 00:34:47:19
Speaker 2
Yeah, that's a big deal. It is, and.

00:34:47:19 - 00:35:01:18
Speaker 3
I think it ties in to also because quality time is my top. Yes. Sit love, language, language. Yeah. So for me, if you don't communicate with me, yeah, that takes away. I feel from our quality time that we can have together.

00:35:01:18 - 00:35:11:26
Speaker 3
And I don't like surface shit. No, don't make surface stuff. I want to get deep into who you are and what you are all about, and I need you to get deep with me.

00:35:15:06 - 00:35:18:02
Speaker 4
Yes. Hey, we wrote.

00:35:18:03 - 00:35:23:23
Speaker 2
This song by Janet Jackson. Then when I went, we go deep and we get enough.

00:35:23:24 - 00:35:28:05
Speaker 4
Sleep is really all, Oh man. And to me.

00:35:28:18 - 00:35:33:17
Speaker 3
I can't read the lyrics. I don't remember that she was saying that. She goes deep. I like that.

00:35:33:18 - 00:35:41:10
Speaker 2
Yeah, that was a good song. Yeah, that video was funny, too. Oh, OK, so he hit you with one. Yes, hit it. Good hygiene.

00:35:42:03 - 00:35:45:24
Speaker 3
Darn it. Wait, did I not put that on me? Yeah, that is so big for me, too.

00:35:46:10 - 00:35:51:08
Speaker 4
It is. I want to smell you in a good way. Yes.

00:35:51:28 - 00:35:56:05
Speaker 3
I want to smell your neck. I want to smell your armpits, joking, Oh.

00:35:56:26 - 00:35:59:12
Speaker 4
You know, she just went all the way. Love.

00:35:59:21 - 00:36:00:12
Speaker 2
She said, going.

00:36:00:13 - 00:36:02:00
Speaker 3
I might sniff it. Just be like, You.

00:36:02:00 - 00:36:14:05
Speaker 2
Know who said that? Actually, I saw in it it was. It was an interview. They were just filming. It was when Nas and Callis were together. Did you ever see that close? Well, I don't know. He like, I think he just came from like a show or something.

00:36:14:05 - 00:36:21:17
Speaker 2
It was funny, but she was like, Come on, let me smell the Muppets. Oh, he did, you know? So that's was the first time I saw that.

00:36:22:15 - 00:36:23:00
Speaker 3
Yeah, you.

00:36:23:00 - 00:36:23:08
Speaker 4
Need to.

00:36:23:08 - 00:36:24:22
Speaker 2
Smell good. Get a smile.

00:36:24:22 - 00:36:25:24
Speaker 3
Get your teeth. Has to look.

00:36:25:24 - 00:36:26:26
Speaker 2
Good. Yeah.

00:36:27:03 - 00:36:28:27
Speaker 3
Has to Adobe no crust in there.

00:36:28:27 - 00:36:31:04
Speaker 2
Oh, no, you know. No.

00:36:31:18 - 00:36:32:15
Speaker 4
No crust.

00:36:34:29 - 00:36:36:18
Speaker 3
No yellow stuff. No, no.

00:36:37:11 - 00:36:40:24
Speaker 2
Oh, green or any color other than what.

00:36:40:24 - 00:36:41:08
Speaker 3
It's supposed.

00:36:41:08 - 00:36:44:13
Speaker 2
To be. Absolutely. Yeah. OK. Yeah. You know, you got to give me one.

00:36:44:15 - 00:36:46:20
Speaker 3
Oh yeah, yeah. Man of God. God-Fearing.

00:36:47:03 - 00:36:48:08
Speaker 2
Oh, great one.

00:36:48:14 - 00:36:49:23
Speaker 3
That's a that's a big one.

00:36:49:24 - 00:36:54:00
Speaker 2
Oh, great. Top of the list? No, that's a really good. I didn't have that down.

00:36:54:01 - 00:37:03:14
Speaker 3
Yeah, I need you. I need you to be God-Fearing. Yeah, if you don't believe in God, I don't want to believe in you. I don't believe he is.

00:37:03:23 - 00:37:05:10
Speaker 2
Yeah, I like that. Yeah, yeah.

00:37:05:11 - 00:37:05:29
Speaker 3
All right, you guys.

00:37:05:29 - 00:37:15:14
Speaker 2
A good one. OK, good relationships with their family. So like, you saw my yeah. You know, so huge. This is yeah, you get along with your family.

00:37:15:22 - 00:37:17:19
Speaker 3
You don't want another birth situation, you know?

00:37:17:19 - 00:37:29:09
Speaker 2
No. Yeah. Yeah, I love to see that. I love to see people are getting along. Yeah. Or at least one family member. You can't not get along with anybody in your family, at least a cousin. You know, it is true that it's able to get.

00:37:29:10 - 00:37:37:14
Speaker 2
But because I understand that sometimes people's upbringing, they're very different. So sometimes people don't really get along with a lot of people in their family. But at least one.

00:37:37:14 - 00:37:38:19
Speaker 3
Person, one person.

00:37:38:27 - 00:37:41:09
Speaker 2
You know, yes, you look like the outcast.

00:37:45:02 - 00:37:48:11
Speaker 3
Even when busy makes time to see and ah, speak to me.

00:37:49:02 - 00:37:49:28
Speaker 2
Yes.

00:37:50:08 - 00:37:53:05
Speaker 3
I need you to show me that you are available.

00:37:53:10 - 00:37:53:19
Speaker 4
Mm hmm.

00:37:54:05 - 00:37:58:14
Speaker 3
I need all your time and attention. Not all of it. 75.

00:37:58:24 - 00:37:59:24
Speaker 2
Yeah, yeah.

00:38:00:08 - 00:38:01:17
Speaker 3
Show me. Show me.

00:38:01:24 - 00:38:03:28
Speaker 2
Sammy. Show me. I agree with that one.

00:38:03:28 - 00:38:04:16
Speaker 3
Please show me.

00:38:08:27 - 00:38:12:14
Speaker 4
She said. Please show me, OK, what you all about?

00:38:13:10 - 00:38:18:01
Speaker 2
Which book? All right, OK. My next one is What song is it.

00:38:18:17 - 00:38:21:16
Speaker 3
My thing down flip. The reverse is what I'm into.

00:38:21:16 - 00:38:24:05
Speaker 2
Giving me the the OK?

00:38:24:17 - 00:38:30:13
Speaker 4
If you got to be honest. 30 but I don't know where.

00:38:31:06 - 00:38:46:03
Speaker 2
I love that song. Oh, Missy, how you doing, Missy? How are you doing, girl? We go see Missy next week. I mean, OK, my next one is has a place. So, yes, you know, it's a great flying.

00:38:46:03 - 00:38:49:21
Speaker 4
But not it's a great surprise. That is a I.

00:38:49:21 - 00:38:54:20
Speaker 3
Am surprised, too. Yeah, that is one of the things I was like, Yo, who do you live with or do you live by yourself?

00:38:54:21 - 00:38:55:11
Speaker 4
Mm hmm. Mm hmm.

00:38:55:22 - 00:38:59:09
Speaker 3
That's a question like when you when you tell me you live by yourself, you kind of go all the way up.

00:38:59:23 - 00:39:02:02
Speaker 2
Yeah, for me, you go all the way.

00:39:02:03 - 00:39:02:08
Speaker 4
Up.

00:39:03:19 - 00:39:06:03
Speaker 3
For me. Absolutely. It's a good one. Yes.

00:39:06:06 - 00:39:06:17
Speaker 2
Give me one.

00:39:06:22 - 00:39:11:21
Speaker 3
All right. Genuinely wants to know how I am doing. Yeah.

00:39:12:08 - 00:39:13:19
Speaker 2
Like, yes.

00:39:13:19 - 00:39:14:12
Speaker 3
Really wants to.

00:39:14:12 - 00:39:23:12
Speaker 2
Know. Not just like, Hey, are you OK? OK, cool. Like, no, no, no, no, no, no. How's your day? How are you doing today? Thank you. That's you know. And we know. And if it's an artificial type of.

00:39:23:12 - 00:39:24:17
Speaker 3
How you doing? I do know.

00:39:24:17 - 00:39:32:21
Speaker 2
When a real one, my next one is has a car donate. I said, You have a green. I mean, a red.

00:39:32:21 - 00:39:35:07
Speaker 4
Flag was you don't have your license. A green.

00:39:35:07 - 00:39:36:17
Speaker 2
Flag is you also have a.

00:39:36:17 - 00:39:38:11
Speaker 3
Vehicle. Does it matter what kind of car?

00:39:39:04 - 00:39:51:24
Speaker 2
No, no, no, no. As long as you can get from point A to point B because you might be trying to get the car that you want and it requires the car that you have at the moment, as long as it gives you to point A to point B, we're fine.

00:39:51:24 - 00:39:59:18
Speaker 2
Don't be asking me to get in it, though, if if the door is like, don't close all the way or like you got it taped up or something like that, I'll just meet you at the spot.

00:39:59:18 - 00:40:01:03
Speaker 4
But you know, I.

00:40:01:03 - 00:40:04:11
Speaker 3
Think it matters for me what kind of car that does it? Yeah, because I.

00:40:05:15 - 00:40:28:26
Speaker 4
Know outpost cars, you know, it's like, Wait a minute, wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait, wait, wait, wait, you was out. Plus I did. I did. I pushed it. Jan, do you believe this girl here, boy?

00:40:28:27 - 00:40:29:09
Speaker 4
I did.

00:40:29:25 - 00:40:30:24
Speaker 3
I was so embarrassed.

00:40:31:13 - 00:40:32:07
Speaker 4
I think the one I like.

00:40:33:23 - 00:40:34:12
Speaker 2
People.

00:40:34:12 - 00:40:34:17
Speaker 3
That.

00:40:34:17 - 00:40:35:13
Speaker 4
Remember who they are.

00:40:35:14 - 00:40:38:04
Speaker 2
You got to hop out and help me, and he was OK.

00:40:38:24 - 00:40:45:05
Speaker 3
It was so embarrassing. My cousin was my cousin and my mother wasn't there, so.

00:40:46:00 - 00:40:47:00
Speaker 2
Everybody had to help.

00:40:48:02 - 00:40:53:05
Speaker 3
My cousin was was driving the car because she was trying to. She had to move it well.

00:40:53:13 - 00:40:53:22
Speaker 4
Well.

00:40:54:00 - 00:41:03:03
Speaker 3
We were outside pushing it and we were might be Asian people. We were right in front of Sheraton Center, which is like, like a mall.

00:41:03:05 - 00:41:03:18
Speaker 4
Mm hmm.

00:41:04:07 - 00:41:05:14
Speaker 3
And on a beautiful dress.

00:41:05:29 - 00:41:08:12
Speaker 2
Wow. Beautiful dress. I look so good.

00:41:08:27 - 00:41:15:15
Speaker 3
I know the men's, you know, driving past like, why is this girl with him pushing that? Why is she pushing a car.

00:41:15:15 - 00:41:15:25
Speaker 2
This way.

00:41:15:27 - 00:41:19:18
Speaker 3
In a nice dress? So the type of car matters to me.

00:41:20:01 - 00:41:21:14
Speaker 4
That, yeah, OK.

00:41:21:14 - 00:41:22:28
Speaker 3
Needs you to have a reliable car.

00:41:22:29 - 00:41:23:25
Speaker 2
Yeah, yeah.

00:41:24:05 - 00:41:34:15
Speaker 3
And yeah, I don't want to be pushing no more car. I will never, ever do that again unless it's like an emergency. But I will never, ever, ever, ever subject myself doing that. I wouldn't.

00:41:34:19 - 00:41:39:25
Speaker 2
Either. I'm not pushing. I will call myself a little left or something, and I'll be like, Bye.

00:41:40:16 - 00:41:42:28
Speaker 4
But who knows? Who knows?

00:41:43:21 - 00:41:45:20
Speaker 3
I've pushed cars actually more than once.

00:41:49:02 - 00:41:51:02
Speaker 4
Not more is another lifetime, though.

00:41:51:14 - 00:41:53:05
Speaker 3
More than once. Probably more than they.

00:41:53:06 - 00:41:59:03
Speaker 4
Would like to count. Oh my God. Oh my goodness.

00:41:59:05 - 00:42:06:01
Speaker 2
OK, so I mean, is it my go? I think it. I don't know. I think it's my go. Yeah. No. Wait, no. It was my goal this year ago.

00:42:06:24 - 00:42:15:24
Speaker 3
Pays attention to things I am interested in and makes attempts to buy me things that I am interested in. Art takes me places that I have expressed interest in.

00:42:16:10 - 00:42:17:26
Speaker 2
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:42:17:26 - 00:42:19:07
Speaker 3
That means that you're listening to me.

00:42:19:07 - 00:42:21:22
Speaker 2
Yes. Nothing better. And you are.

00:42:21:24 - 00:42:23:26
Speaker 3
Making attempts to please me.

00:42:23:29 - 00:42:24:10
Speaker 2
Mm hmm.

00:42:24:23 - 00:42:25:11
Speaker 3
Yes.

00:42:25:12 - 00:42:27:01
Speaker 2
Yes. In ways that I like to see.

00:42:27:01 - 00:42:27:21
Speaker 3
Exactly.

00:42:27:22 - 00:42:37:14
Speaker 2
I like that. OK. My next one is a green flag for me is well-traveled. Oh yeah, I like that.

00:42:37:15 - 00:42:43:24
Speaker 3
You see, this is good to like. Talk about it because that would be a green flag for me to imagine to put that down like that.

00:42:43:26 - 00:42:58:29
Speaker 2
I love love because when you experience different places and different cultures and just all of that, I mean, you leave with the best experiences. Yeah. There's no other way to to to figure those things out, to find those things out unless you, you know, do a little peekaboo as in other places, you had a proper.

00:42:58:29 - 00:42:59:24
Speaker 3
Love that.

00:42:59:25 - 00:43:00:23
Speaker 2
Yeah, I love.

00:43:01:00 - 00:43:09:03
Speaker 3
That you're open-minded, too. Mm hmm. Because there are some people who are like, Yeah, no, I'm just happy with just staying in the city and not go anywhere else.

00:43:09:07 - 00:43:20:21
Speaker 2
I know people like that. I know people like that. But it's like they don't you don't know what you don't know. So I feel bad because it's like not you listen, this is a really big world. Yes, a lot of cool things to love.

00:43:20:29 - 00:43:22:09
Speaker 3
Yeah, I mean, I love that.

00:43:22:10 - 00:43:24:07
Speaker 2
Oh, yeah. Well, Charles, yes.

00:43:24:13 - 00:43:26:03
Speaker 3
I've got money to take me places. Yes.

00:43:27:13 - 00:43:33:20
Speaker 4
Hello, did. OK? They call him over Sammy, and he.

00:43:36:22 - 00:43:40:27
Speaker 3
Does what he promises he will do. Basically a man of his word.

00:43:41:18 - 00:43:46:17
Speaker 2
Yes. I mean, when you say, say what you mean? Thank you. Say that's a good one. Yeah.

00:43:46:18 - 00:43:47:26
Speaker 3
Don't don't promise me stuff.

00:43:48:19 - 00:43:49:15
Speaker 2
And then don't fall through.

00:43:49:18 - 00:43:54:12
Speaker 3
Because I remember like, so you said you were going to do this and you didn't do it?

00:43:54:19 - 00:43:55:16
Speaker 2
No. Now what?

00:43:55:19 - 00:43:56:14
Speaker 3
Nothing. You the.

00:43:56:14 - 00:44:02:06
Speaker 2
Dough. Yeah. OK. My next one is likes animals.

00:44:02:25 - 00:44:06:10
Speaker 4
You told me the difference.

00:44:08:13 - 00:44:22:12
Speaker 2
Well, you know, I pay attention. I agree. You know, you're not nice. Listen, I notice. I think it says a lot about people who are not nice to animals because they can't talk. Yeah, that's so true.

00:44:22:13 - 00:44:23:13
Speaker 3
Yes, you're right. You know?

00:44:24:17 - 00:44:25:21
Speaker 2
Yes. You know.

00:44:25:24 - 00:44:29:01
Speaker 3
Yes. Oh my gosh. I'm thinking about supersonic.

00:44:29:03 - 00:44:30:03
Speaker 2
I know because he didn't.

00:44:30:03 - 00:44:32:16
Speaker 3
Like my last situation.

00:44:32:26 - 00:44:33:14
Speaker 2
Really?

00:44:33:15 - 00:44:36:18
Speaker 3
Oh, some bark. Every time dogs know.

00:44:36:19 - 00:44:37:10
Speaker 2
They do know.

00:44:37:10 - 00:44:39:18
Speaker 3
They know when someone is not of good character.

00:44:39:25 - 00:44:40:06
Speaker 4
Mm hmm.

00:44:40:16 - 00:44:41:13
Speaker 2
Wow. OK.

00:44:42:00 - 00:44:49:26
Speaker 3
Has a plan for his life and his future, which I think ties into Europe has to have goals. Absolutely. So shows interest in my family and my friends.

00:44:49:27 - 00:45:03:09
Speaker 2
Yes. Oh yeah. Yeah, yeah. But you should want to get to know that person's family and friends because a lot about them. What is it? Was that one thing like you are the company you keep or something like that anyway.

00:45:03:13 - 00:45:04:23
Speaker 3
Where you are? Yeah.

00:45:04:29 - 00:45:06:28
Speaker 2
You know, and you are. What's your reflection of it?

00:45:06:29 - 00:45:07:25
Speaker 3
So yes, you.

00:45:07:25 - 00:45:09:09
Speaker 2
Better have a good people around you.

00:45:09:09 - 00:45:09:27
Speaker 3
Good people.

00:45:10:25 - 00:45:15:08
Speaker 2
My next one was good manners. You know, my my family's bad manners.

00:45:15:08 - 00:45:16:25
Speaker 4
My green is good, man.

00:45:17:22 - 00:45:21:27
Speaker 2
So I'm paying attention. Yes, OK. That's a plus.

00:45:21:27 - 00:45:25:12
Speaker 3
Minus cool, calm and collected, even when under pressure.

00:45:25:20 - 00:45:26:06
Speaker 2
Yeah.

00:45:26:07 - 00:45:28:23
Speaker 3
Oh yeah. Like, I want you to be. Yeah.

00:45:29:15 - 00:45:30:07
Speaker 2
Super cool.

00:45:30:20 - 00:45:31:20
Speaker 3
Will you be like a g?

00:45:31:24 - 00:45:32:04
Speaker 4
Mm.

00:45:32:14 - 00:45:33:09
Speaker 3
Oh, don't worry, baby.

00:45:33:09 - 00:45:34:09
Speaker 2
Yeah, don't worry.

00:45:34:09 - 00:45:37:27
Speaker 3
About it. I got it. All right. Might be a little bit pressure. I'm not going to lie.

00:45:37:28 - 00:45:38:18
Speaker 2
Yeah, yeah.

00:45:38:18 - 00:45:45:06
Speaker 4
But I was making a smooth smooth. I like that a lot.

00:45:45:26 - 00:45:50:09
Speaker 2
OK, so my next one is I think this is tied into some of the things that you said, OK.

00:45:50:13 - 00:45:50:27
Speaker 3
Yeah, it's.

00:45:50:27 - 00:46:02:16
Speaker 2
Detailed. Yeah. But whose detail? That's a green flag for me. Oh, you want someone who's detailed, very detailed every aspect of everything, you know? Be thoughtful with everything that you do. You should be like that, you know? OK, little things.

00:46:03:02 - 00:46:04:24
Speaker 2
It's the little things matters.

00:46:04:24 - 00:46:24:05
Speaker 3
Little details. Yes, OK, communicates, needs and wants respectfully and openly. Yeah, I need you to respect to be respectful of what you want. Again, I know Kerstin and stuff to me is like a trigger for me. I don't want no one who shouts at me, who curses at me, who belittles me.

00:46:24:05 - 00:46:30:23
Speaker 3
I don't want anyone that does any of those things. I want you to be able to communicate respectfully if you have an issue with me.

00:46:30:26 - 00:46:31:17
Speaker 2
Absolutely.

00:46:31:28 - 00:46:33:20
Speaker 3
OK. Don't be shown on me and be like.

00:46:33:22 - 00:46:34:26
Speaker 4
Who doesn't it?

00:46:36:01 - 00:46:38:15
Speaker 3
Because they don't get a to me.

00:46:38:16 - 00:46:40:11
Speaker 2
Oh, yeah, absolutely. You'll want that.

00:46:40:11 - 00:46:41:08
Speaker 3
You'll want to take me there.

00:46:42:24 - 00:46:44:15
Speaker 2
Take me there. All right.

00:46:46:10 - 00:46:47:12
Speaker 4
Let's go there.

00:46:47:16 - 00:46:50:05
Speaker 3
Take me to that place. A lot of.

00:46:50:20 - 00:46:52:02
Speaker 4
Politico says.

00:46:52:20 - 00:47:00:17
Speaker 2
I like it. A lot that sounds a little like Maya Mace. Oh, no. Remember erase and guilt. But is that what they said?

00:47:01:00 - 00:47:02:06
Speaker 3
Close your eyes and count to five.

00:47:03:15 - 00:47:10:20
Speaker 4
OK, I'm not do. three foot five still here.

00:47:16:07 - 00:47:28:02
Speaker 2
My next one is. Oh, yeah, this kind of goes with goals, OK? But it says has a passion, at least one passion goals, it's like that. Yeah. Hobbies, though, yes, it could be.

00:47:28:02 - 00:47:28:17
Speaker 3
Like a hobby.

00:47:28:17 - 00:47:38:07
Speaker 2
Yes. And I want to know because a lot of people out there when you ask them, like, what's your passion? What what? And I know you do this for a living, but what's your passion? Yeah, you hit me with the I don't know.

00:47:38:24 - 00:47:42:02
Speaker 2
We got a we got a problem. Oh, you need to know.

00:47:42:05 - 00:47:43:21
Speaker 3
You need to know. You got to have hobbies.

00:47:43:23 - 00:47:44:14
Speaker 4
Mm hmm.

00:47:44:25 - 00:47:47:16
Speaker 2
You know something that you just really, really, really, really good at.

00:47:47:22 - 00:47:53:05
Speaker 3
I agree. You know, my next one for me was great sense of humor and doesn't take himself too seriously.

00:47:53:09 - 00:47:54:09
Speaker 4
Yeah.

00:47:54:10 - 00:48:02:06
Speaker 3
I need you to be a goofball with me. I need you to be in here and laugh and dance and just party it up with me.

00:48:02:06 - 00:48:06:08
Speaker 2
Yeah. Do the robot. Yeah, at the grocery store, you know all.

00:48:06:08 - 00:48:11:23
Speaker 3
That I do. If you can't do any of that, we. We're not going to drive because I'm going to feel as though I have to walk around on eggshells.

00:48:11:25 - 00:48:12:25
Speaker 2
Yeah, you want to keep it fun?

00:48:12:27 - 00:48:14:07
Speaker 3
No, I want to have fun with you.

00:48:14:10 - 00:48:16:01
Speaker 2
Keep it like uber fun. Keep it up.

00:48:16:10 - 00:48:19:03
Speaker 3
Yeah, if you do, we all laugh. Not Domini. She doesn't like.

00:48:21:04 - 00:48:28:02
Speaker 4
She like, Oh yeah, yeah, I will run out of room. This is facts, OK?

00:48:28:21 - 00:48:32:23
Speaker 2
But other than that, I'm right there, would you? Yeah. OK, so my last one?

00:48:33:06 - 00:48:35:22
Speaker 4
Oh, okay. Yeah, and you got like ten left?

00:48:35:22 - 00:48:41:29
Speaker 2
No, no girl here, boy. My last one is open to different cuisine.

00:48:42:14 - 00:48:44:09
Speaker 3
You food had to be in there for you.

00:48:44:09 - 00:48:45:03
Speaker 2
You know, I had to put.

00:48:45:03 - 00:48:45:20
Speaker 4
The food in.

00:48:45:20 - 00:48:51:04
Speaker 2
Their food is so important to me, then why it's so important.

00:48:51:21 - 00:48:53:13
Speaker 3
If they weren't, that wouldn't be a red flag for me.

00:48:53:17 - 00:48:54:00
Speaker 2
It is a.

00:48:54:19 - 00:48:54:24
Speaker 4
Nuts.

00:48:55:09 - 00:48:56:28
Speaker 3
I know. But but if they weren't.

00:48:57:25 - 00:49:14:02
Speaker 2
If they weren't experience with that, I need it because I like to go to cool places, different places. You know what I mean? I love that so much. I really enjoy finding a new spot or a cool spot or an old spot or just, you know, and different foods and different chefs.

00:49:14:02 - 00:49:19:02
Speaker 2
And it's a whole lifestyle. And I was right there for every chew, every bite.

00:49:19:22 - 00:49:29:18
Speaker 3
My mind is like, you can take me to the place, and then if you don't want it, then there's just more for me. True, but but be open to experience in it, even if you may not want to at.

00:49:29:18 - 00:49:33:14
Speaker 2
Least take a bite. I don't mean people like it's like.

00:49:33:22 - 00:49:36:01
Speaker 3
That's that's true. It gets it gets old quick.

00:49:36:01 - 00:49:36:27
Speaker 2
Yeah. You're not. three.

00:49:38:11 - 00:49:40:06
Speaker 4
Take a bite. You're not going to die.

00:49:40:07 - 00:49:41:10
Speaker 3
Oh, my three year old ass.

00:49:41:11 - 00:49:43:29
Speaker 2
Yeah, I literally do. Yeah. So, yeah, OK.

00:49:44:00 - 00:49:45:18
Speaker 3
So I only have maybe seven more.

00:49:48:08 - 00:49:49:18
Speaker 2
I only have like 15.

00:49:50:16 - 00:49:50:26
Speaker 4
OK?

00:49:51:17 - 00:49:52:16
Speaker 3
Gives compliments.

00:49:52:24 - 00:49:53:19
Speaker 2
Yes, I like that.

00:49:53:19 - 00:50:04:10
Speaker 3
Yeah, you need to give me compliments. Yeah, because I give compliments. OK. And if you don't give me companies and I'm gonna think you're holding back on giving me compliments and think you're doing that on purpose because I know I'm cute.

00:50:05:06 - 00:50:07:10
Speaker 3
That bothers me that you don't want to make me feel good.

00:50:08:07 - 00:50:08:26
Speaker 2
That is so.

00:50:08:26 - 00:50:21:26
Speaker 3
True. Yeah, like if I dress up for you. And you don't see anything to me, that's a problem, but I got random men looking at me like, Oh, you look good and you don't. Boo, boo. That's our last day.

00:50:21:27 - 00:50:26:23
Speaker 3
Yeah, yeah. Mm-Hmm. I totally get that no integrity and is honest.

00:50:27:18 - 00:50:31:01
Speaker 2
Yes. Yes. Absolutely yes.

00:50:31:03 - 00:50:36:05
Speaker 3
Yeah. Because that to me, ties into cheating in loyalty, that type of stuff.

00:50:36:15 - 00:50:38:10
Speaker 2
It trickles down to eurozone.

00:50:38:26 - 00:50:48:22
Speaker 3
Respectful of my pace. Yes. Like if I tell you, no, I'm not ready. I don't need you trying to convince me. Don't do that. Don't do that. No.

00:50:48:27 - 00:50:51:10
Speaker 2
Adjust. Thank you. They should all.

00:50:51:20 - 00:50:53:04
Speaker 3
Be so thirsty. You like just.

00:50:53:05 - 00:50:57:02
Speaker 4
Relax. What's wrong with you? Why are you.

00:50:57:02 - 00:50:59:23
Speaker 3
Thirsty? Why are you?

00:50:59:27 - 00:51:01:10
Speaker 2
Don't be so thirsty.

00:51:01:15 - 00:51:02:12
Speaker 3
Come on. No.

00:51:02:20 - 00:51:04:20
Speaker 2
You need some lemonade. Lemonade.

00:51:04:21 - 00:51:19:13
Speaker 3
Okay? Just wake you if you wait and shovel out my. You'll you'll. You're in for a ride. OK? It'll be all right. Oh. OK. Wants to learn my story and doesn't hold my trials against me.

00:51:20:24 - 00:51:29:12
Speaker 4
Oh, wow. Oh, yes, OK. Yes.

00:51:29:28 - 00:51:42:24
Speaker 3
OK, I want you to be interested in how I am, though, how I got here. Mm hmm. What took place in my life? And if I tell you the trials that I've gone through, don't throw them in my face.

00:51:42:28 - 00:51:45:23
Speaker 3
Yeah, don't do that. Don't be like, Oh, yeah, well, that's why this happens.

00:51:45:23 - 00:51:48:26
Speaker 2
Yes. Oh my god, that's such a trigger. Don't do.

00:51:48:26 - 00:51:53:08
Speaker 4
That. How dare you? How did it once again?

00:51:54:00 - 00:51:55:25
Speaker 2
Drama queen will come out. Yeah, wants.

00:51:55:25 - 00:52:07:12
Speaker 3
To build a life with me? Yeah, that's a good one. And as a show, if I am not part of your plans, then we don't need to be together because I don't do short term stuff. If I am invested, I want it to be a long term situation.

00:52:07:27 - 00:52:15:15
Speaker 3
Yeah, I'm able to apologize. Mm hmm. Supports my dreams and goals and one of my biggest cheerleaders.

00:52:17:03 - 00:52:17:24
Speaker 2
That is so.

00:52:17:24 - 00:52:18:21
Speaker 3
Sweet. I know.

00:52:19:05 - 00:52:27:29
Speaker 2
I like that a lot. You like that may make perfect sense. Completely great. Green green flags. Yeah, I love that. I think we both have some really good ones.

00:52:28:12 - 00:52:41:09
Speaker 3
I think so, too. And I'm sure there's so many more of them. But I do think is really important when you're that you should do your own. Ask yourself, what are your green red flags? And also, what are your orange?

00:52:41:09 - 00:52:42:09
Speaker 3
Is orange a yellow?

00:52:42:11 - 00:52:44:02
Speaker 2
Yeah. Both yellow.

00:52:45:14 - 00:52:45:18
Speaker 4
And.

00:52:45:22 - 00:52:56:24
Speaker 3
Orange? I don't know. I think it's orange. What are your orange flags like? What is something that you're like? Hmm. It's not a deal breaker, but it's something that I need to caution myself on.

00:52:57:00 - 00:52:57:11
Speaker 2
Right?

00:52:57:26 - 00:53:01:23
Speaker 3
And then really be open and talk to your partner when you're trying to get to know them.

00:53:02:14 - 00:53:08:07
Speaker 2
I think you should do this list. People should do this list like every few years. Sure. Changes.

00:53:08:07 - 00:53:09:00
Speaker 3
It does over.

00:53:09:01 - 00:53:11:23
Speaker 2
Time. I would have been interested to see if we did this when we were younger.

00:53:11:29 - 00:53:13:24
Speaker 3
None of none of these would have been on there.

00:53:13:24 - 00:53:15:00
Speaker 2
No. You know, so.

00:53:15:06 - 00:53:24:24
Speaker 3
My would have probably been super surface. Yeah. Cause I wouldn't I wouldn't have had the level of experience that I have now to create such a list.

00:53:24:26 - 00:53:26:17
Speaker 4
You absolutely know.

00:53:26:17 - 00:53:28:17
Speaker 2
Who you are. You have that list. You heard the less you.

00:53:28:17 - 00:53:35:21
Speaker 3
Heard the list, but do your own. Yeah, just sit with yourself and say, What do I want? What do I don't want all that?

00:53:36:10 - 00:53:44:27
Speaker 2
00. List your listen under under the comment section. Oh yes. Hit us with some thoughts here.

00:53:44:28 - 00:53:45:29
Speaker 3
I do want to hear some.

00:53:45:29 - 00:53:50:12
Speaker 2
Some read, some green. I'm sure there are some that we completely, just completely didn't even think about.

00:53:50:13 - 00:53:56:07
Speaker 3
I agree. You know, I agree. I'm here for it. I'm here for it. I must say because I didn't. We didn't say anything. I love your hair.

00:53:56:08 - 00:54:02:08
Speaker 2
It's so huge. Thank you, darling. I know I love it. Thank you. Super cute. I love your hair as well.

00:54:02:09 - 00:54:04:13
Speaker 3
Thank you. I'm too. I don't know when I'm going to take mine out.

00:54:05:04 - 00:54:05:19
Speaker 2
It looks.

00:54:05:19 - 00:54:08:21
Speaker 3
Really good. I know it still looks good, but I got to decide.

00:54:08:21 - 00:54:09:18
Speaker 2
You got to decide what to.

00:54:10:03 - 00:54:12:03
Speaker 3
Make of it. Maybe two more weeks, I don't know.

00:54:12:05 - 00:54:15:05
Speaker 2
That's a great time to have that in that long list. So that's really.

00:54:15:05 - 00:54:17:22
Speaker 3
Good. Hey, that's what's up, though. I love it. I love.

00:54:17:22 - 00:54:19:28
Speaker 2
It. We are going to be coming to you with the hair segment.

00:54:19:28 - 00:54:24:13
Speaker 4
So one day, one day.

00:54:24:25 - 00:54:29:20
Speaker 3
Yes. But I think we're a good stopping point right for us to be done.

00:54:29:28 - 00:54:34:27
Speaker 2
I know you guys are going to miss us. I hope you do. And I know this. But you know what? We're going to miss you too.

00:54:34:28 - 00:54:46:19
Speaker 3
Yeah, OK. And follow us on Queens of a Feather Dot podcast on Instagram. Yeah, look, I want you to because we have all of our videos on YouTube. So queens of a feather. Make sure you subscribe. Make sure you follow us.

00:54:46:19 - 00:54:48:07
Speaker 3
You like and you comment. Don't be shy.

00:54:48:13 - 00:54:51:13
Speaker 2
Don't be shy. Shy. Yeah, come on.

00:54:52:00 - 00:54:56:27
Speaker 4
Express yourself, especially when you're on your own.

00:54:57:01 - 00:55:01:29
Speaker 2
What do you would if you were home alone? Take a picture like you were on Nike and the film paparazzi come out.

00:55:02:03 - 00:55:02:22
Speaker 3
You want to take a.

00:55:02:22 - 00:55:05:19
Speaker 4
Picture with me? All right, guys.

00:55:06:19 - 00:55:07:06
Speaker 3
Bye bye.

00:55:07:26 - 00:55:12:29
Speaker 4
It's a 1518 game you need to get on the beach.

00:55:13:18 - 00:55:14:20
Speaker 3
Yes. eight.

00:55:14:25 - 00:55:18:15
Speaker 2
eight Total Hospital five.

00:55:18:21 - 00:55:21:22
Speaker 4
I think it's a the age. All of this.

00:55:22:00 - 00:55:22:19
Speaker 3
I know you.

00:55:22:19 - 00:55:27:20
Speaker 2
Will. All right. Yay. I like that.

00:55:27:29 - 00:55:30:08
Speaker 3
I did. Go ahead and play the game because I don't want to.